adjective: 1. of or pertaining to woods or forest regions. 2. living or located in a wood or forest. 3. abounding in forests or trees; wooded.
i promised myself (and my writing buddy!) that i would blog two more times this week before adrian comes home. but it's now 1:16am, and i just got home, so i'll go ahead and skip to the good stuff.
here are today's three things:
1. had a good talk with my mom, and realized that sometimes, i can make grownup decisions all by myself. i have instincts and opinions that i am free and privileged to follow. i don't have to make excuses for them.
2. two-fers at maffioso's with the girls...artichoke pizza and sierra nevada and talking about life and love. and having some intervention!
3. band of horses. they played tonight at exit/in. it was so beautiful. one of my favorite things is watching people respond to live music, especially when i feel it moving me the way i can tell it's moving them. we're all connected. love it.
4. bonus! adrian comes home in two days. i am thankful for that.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
caterwaul
intransitive verb: 1. To make a harsh cry. 2. To have a noisy argument.
well, the word of the day pretty much sums up my week. see what expanding your vocab can do for you?
here is how i would have liked today to go:
wake up leisurely at 9am, stroll into the kitchen and make some delicious coffee. bring it back to bed, read my book until 10, when i get ready for the day and head to the flea market with some friends. from there, off to look at fantastic new apartment in the village, which i can actually afford! sign lease on the spot and motor off to fido's, where i enjoy some (more) coffee and journal for a while. when i have sufficiently permeated all of my belongings with the unmistakable aroma of coffee beans, stroll to used bookstore where i find extremely loud and incredibly close and bird by bird by anne lamott. then, head home, call adrian, and crawl into bed, watching a movie until i can't keep my eyes open. ahh...saturday.
here is how today actually went:
woke up around 6am to the most unique bird call I think I've ever heard in the entire state of tennessee. and it wasn't one of those nice bird calls that you would want to immortalize on a QVC wall clock. it was damned annoying. i remember it being incorporated into my dream, and then being fairly ticked off when i opened my eyes to discover that the creature actually existed. and it existed right outside my window. from there, i woke up several more times...at 7, to the dogs running around outside barking, at 8 to...something..., and then at 9 to a text message from ashley saying she wasn't going to make it to the flea market because it was cold out. fair enough. i can't hold a grudge against a woman who doesn't want to walk around in the cold for 2 hours. additionally, when i woke up, the massive pounding in my head had returned from a mini-holiday it took, after i fired it yesterday for slowing down work productivity. payback is a bitch, i guess.
after peeling my bowling ball off my pillow, i walked zombie-style into the kitchen to find that someone had used the last of my good coffee, and i was left with...maxwell house. LITE. 50% less caffeine. are you serious? that shouldn't even be allowed. but, desperate as i was, i made a pot, brought it back to my room, and read my book. that was a plus. with the extra few hours i had, i also made some wise time-spending choices that included craigslist, online poker where i achieved "big dog" status, and mindlessly watching my dashboard jesus widgit bounce back and forth, praying to him that he could slow down for one second and ease the pain in my temples.
when it was finally time to go see my prospective apartment, i walked out to my car to discover not one, but TWO nearly flat tires. on the side of my car that is supposed to have new tires. sweet. luckily the car was still drivable, but with each passing mile, i felt a small burning in my pocket as i thought of the money i was setting myself up to spend on easily avoidable repairs.
i don't even want to talk about the apartment. i guess there's a reason i could afford it. that reason is nasty carpet. or maybe it's footprints on the door like someone was breaking it down.
from there, off i went to firestone tire, where they told me that my car could not be fixed until at least tomorrow. but in the mean time, i probably shouldn't drive it. awesome.
i stopped at the used bookstore on my way home, since it only took an extra six inches of driving. i didn't think that was out of line with what the tire guru advised, and i needed something to cheer me up. i wandered around for a bit in the store, but apparently standing upright for a long while was not what my sinuses had in mind. so we left. somehow i managed to still spend money while i was in there. i may as well blame my sinuses for that too.
the next 4 hours consisted of...*sigh* america's next top model. i'm so ashamed. but i have a headache. give me a break.
and now it's 9:30pm. i still have a massive headache that is literally making me cry. i'm in bed, and i have a movie, but not the stamina to watch it. i'm hungry, but don't have the stamina to cook. and i haven't talked to adrian. because i don't have the stamina to listen to him talk to his friends while he's on the phone with me. that's a whole other story, though.
ahh...saturday.
well, the word of the day pretty much sums up my week. see what expanding your vocab can do for you?
here is how i would have liked today to go:
wake up leisurely at 9am, stroll into the kitchen and make some delicious coffee. bring it back to bed, read my book until 10, when i get ready for the day and head to the flea market with some friends. from there, off to look at fantastic new apartment in the village, which i can actually afford! sign lease on the spot and motor off to fido's, where i enjoy some (more) coffee and journal for a while. when i have sufficiently permeated all of my belongings with the unmistakable aroma of coffee beans, stroll to used bookstore where i find extremely loud and incredibly close and bird by bird by anne lamott. then, head home, call adrian, and crawl into bed, watching a movie until i can't keep my eyes open. ahh...saturday.
here is how today actually went:
woke up around 6am to the most unique bird call I think I've ever heard in the entire state of tennessee. and it wasn't one of those nice bird calls that you would want to immortalize on a QVC wall clock. it was damned annoying. i remember it being incorporated into my dream, and then being fairly ticked off when i opened my eyes to discover that the creature actually existed. and it existed right outside my window. from there, i woke up several more times...at 7, to the dogs running around outside barking, at 8 to...something..., and then at 9 to a text message from ashley saying she wasn't going to make it to the flea market because it was cold out. fair enough. i can't hold a grudge against a woman who doesn't want to walk around in the cold for 2 hours. additionally, when i woke up, the massive pounding in my head had returned from a mini-holiday it took, after i fired it yesterday for slowing down work productivity. payback is a bitch, i guess.
after peeling my bowling ball off my pillow, i walked zombie-style into the kitchen to find that someone had used the last of my good coffee, and i was left with...maxwell house. LITE. 50% less caffeine. are you serious? that shouldn't even be allowed. but, desperate as i was, i made a pot, brought it back to my room, and read my book. that was a plus. with the extra few hours i had, i also made some wise time-spending choices that included craigslist, online poker where i achieved "big dog" status, and mindlessly watching my dashboard jesus widgit bounce back and forth, praying to him that he could slow down for one second and ease the pain in my temples.
when it was finally time to go see my prospective apartment, i walked out to my car to discover not one, but TWO nearly flat tires. on the side of my car that is supposed to have new tires. sweet. luckily the car was still drivable, but with each passing mile, i felt a small burning in my pocket as i thought of the money i was setting myself up to spend on easily avoidable repairs.
i don't even want to talk about the apartment. i guess there's a reason i could afford it. that reason is nasty carpet. or maybe it's footprints on the door like someone was breaking it down.
from there, off i went to firestone tire, where they told me that my car could not be fixed until at least tomorrow. but in the mean time, i probably shouldn't drive it. awesome.
i stopped at the used bookstore on my way home, since it only took an extra six inches of driving. i didn't think that was out of line with what the tire guru advised, and i needed something to cheer me up. i wandered around for a bit in the store, but apparently standing upright for a long while was not what my sinuses had in mind. so we left. somehow i managed to still spend money while i was in there. i may as well blame my sinuses for that too.
the next 4 hours consisted of...*sigh* america's next top model. i'm so ashamed. but i have a headache. give me a break.
and now it's 9:30pm. i still have a massive headache that is literally making me cry. i'm in bed, and i have a movie, but not the stamina to watch it. i'm hungry, but don't have the stamina to cook. and i haven't talked to adrian. because i don't have the stamina to listen to him talk to his friends while he's on the phone with me. that's a whole other story, though.
ahh...saturday.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
permeate
transitive verb: 1. To spread or diffuse through. 2. To pass through the pores or openings of.
today, a celebrity died. he was young - too young to die the way he did - and had a fairly successful career ahead of him. there hadn't been a great deal of gossip about him or his destructive habits, just the occasional side article about him getting an oscar nomination, or having a baby. all positive things. but then, out of nowhere, his face popped up on the news ticker, along with a tragic headline.
and i was so affected.
it felt strange - obviously, i don' t know him. i've never been a huge fan of his movies, and the times i've heard him talk, i wasn't overwhelmed with his eloquence or intellect. but i was genuinely upset when i heard he had died.
as i talked with my friends and coworkers all afternoon about what had happened, i started wondering what it is about the celebrity world that moves us so deeply...sometimes it feels like it is simultaneously the furthest thing from us and the thing closest to our hearts.
now i'm no philosopher or psychologist. but i think the reason i was so affected by the news of his death is that it's a reminder. i'm reminded of how close death really is to us. how can we ever know? life is so fragile, and events like this shake me back into an awareness of what an incredible gift every single day is.
in the same vein, i think the reason we get so attached to celebrities is because we try to vicariously live life through them - we keep them close to our heart, sharing in their ups and downs ("i love her new haircut! she can pull of anything!"/"omg! i couldn't believe what she was wearing!"), their major life changes, their intimate struggles, even living in their home every week and interacting with their family. so when they die, it's like we've lost a relative, even if it's that weirdo uncle who creeps you out.
anyways, all that to say, i think this man's death got to me because i know that he has a 2 year old daughter who will miss her daddy, and because it reminded me that ultimately, we're both fragile people. everything is connected.
i'm grateful for my life. and not just the circumstances of my life. i'm grateful for life. period.
and here are three specifics from today:
1. rainy rain. rain + coffee = happy anna.
2. getting an email from my mom with photos of my cousin's newborn son, keegan. precious.
3. the freedom to come home tonight, and lay curled up in my bed with tea, playing online scrabble. simple joys. this is how i act when adrian goes out of town. and i love it.
today, a celebrity died. he was young - too young to die the way he did - and had a fairly successful career ahead of him. there hadn't been a great deal of gossip about him or his destructive habits, just the occasional side article about him getting an oscar nomination, or having a baby. all positive things. but then, out of nowhere, his face popped up on the news ticker, along with a tragic headline.
and i was so affected.
it felt strange - obviously, i don' t know him. i've never been a huge fan of his movies, and the times i've heard him talk, i wasn't overwhelmed with his eloquence or intellect. but i was genuinely upset when i heard he had died.
as i talked with my friends and coworkers all afternoon about what had happened, i started wondering what it is about the celebrity world that moves us so deeply...sometimes it feels like it is simultaneously the furthest thing from us and the thing closest to our hearts.
now i'm no philosopher or psychologist. but i think the reason i was so affected by the news of his death is that it's a reminder. i'm reminded of how close death really is to us. how can we ever know? life is so fragile, and events like this shake me back into an awareness of what an incredible gift every single day is.
in the same vein, i think the reason we get so attached to celebrities is because we try to vicariously live life through them - we keep them close to our heart, sharing in their ups and downs ("i love her new haircut! she can pull of anything!"/"omg! i couldn't believe what she was wearing!"), their major life changes, their intimate struggles, even living in their home every week and interacting with their family. so when they die, it's like we've lost a relative, even if it's that weirdo uncle who creeps you out.
anyways, all that to say, i think this man's death got to me because i know that he has a 2 year old daughter who will miss her daddy, and because it reminded me that ultimately, we're both fragile people. everything is connected.
i'm grateful for my life. and not just the circumstances of my life. i'm grateful for life. period.
and here are three specifics from today:
1. rainy rain. rain + coffee = happy anna.
2. getting an email from my mom with photos of my cousin's newborn son, keegan. precious.
3. the freedom to come home tonight, and lay curled up in my bed with tea, playing online scrabble. simple joys. this is how i act when adrian goes out of town. and i love it.
Friday, January 18, 2008
stoic
noun: 1. (Capitalized). A member of a school of philosophy founded by Zeno holding that one should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and should submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity.
2. Hence, one who is apparently or professedly indifferent to or unaffected by pleasure or pain, joy or grief.
it's been almost a month since i blogged. ugh.. what a terrible beginning to a new year full of aspirations of writing more, being more disciplined and purposeful, starting to pick up some freelance side projects. damn!
at the moment, i am being comforted by david bowie and freddie mercury. things could be so much worse.
the sad part is, i don't even know what to write about tonight. i did take some time on the way home from sarah's wedding rehearsal to go to starbucks and journal like a normal person for a while. and i even drank an almond latte in honor of sarah. it was good time, being there. i caught up with my photos a little bit (labeled and organized them!), and then sat and moped for a bit about how i want to get married, and have people be thrilled and excited. like...adrian. it was healthy moping though...the more i can just get it out of my system, the less i'm hoping it will take up space in my head, you know?
then i was thinking about all the nice things people said about sarah (all of which are true!), and about what a rock she is in her faith. she's always been so unwavering. why have i never NOT been wavering? that's all i do! so then, when i'm inspired to pull out my bible again tonight, and read things through, do i really want to do it so that i grow, or so that people will have nice things to say about me at my wedding? if i ever have one...
i did decide though, that i miss feeling the covering of a purpose and the protection of a unified vision with other people. it does seem, though, that the people who have always made the most difference have been slightly outside the fold. maybe if i could discipline myself back into some sort of faith, i could be pruned for something outside the fold. because i don't really like the fold. i kind of want to hang outside...
computer is about to die, and i am WAY too lazy to go plug it in. i should go to sleepy time anyways, so here are today's three things:
1. finished my book on the couch in front of the heater. FDR dies. shocker.
2. singing in the sanctuary of first pres. brought back a lot of lovely memories...like singing.
3. seeing sarah's absolute joy and delight with the love of her life. i really am glorying with my friend. jesus is so good. to her. and me, when i pay attention.
2. Hence, one who is apparently or professedly indifferent to or unaffected by pleasure or pain, joy or grief.
it's been almost a month since i blogged. ugh.. what a terrible beginning to a new year full of aspirations of writing more, being more disciplined and purposeful, starting to pick up some freelance side projects. damn!
at the moment, i am being comforted by david bowie and freddie mercury. things could be so much worse.
the sad part is, i don't even know what to write about tonight. i did take some time on the way home from sarah's wedding rehearsal to go to starbucks and journal like a normal person for a while. and i even drank an almond latte in honor of sarah. it was good time, being there. i caught up with my photos a little bit (labeled and organized them!), and then sat and moped for a bit about how i want to get married, and have people be thrilled and excited. like...adrian. it was healthy moping though...the more i can just get it out of my system, the less i'm hoping it will take up space in my head, you know?
then i was thinking about all the nice things people said about sarah (all of which are true!), and about what a rock she is in her faith. she's always been so unwavering. why have i never NOT been wavering? that's all i do! so then, when i'm inspired to pull out my bible again tonight, and read things through, do i really want to do it so that i grow, or so that people will have nice things to say about me at my wedding? if i ever have one...
i did decide though, that i miss feeling the covering of a purpose and the protection of a unified vision with other people. it does seem, though, that the people who have always made the most difference have been slightly outside the fold. maybe if i could discipline myself back into some sort of faith, i could be pruned for something outside the fold. because i don't really like the fold. i kind of want to hang outside...
computer is about to die, and i am WAY too lazy to go plug it in. i should go to sleepy time anyways, so here are today's three things:
1. finished my book on the couch in front of the heater. FDR dies. shocker.
2. singing in the sanctuary of first pres. brought back a lot of lovely memories...like singing.
3. seeing sarah's absolute joy and delight with the love of her life. i really am glorying with my friend. jesus is so good. to her. and me, when i pay attention.
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